Saturday, January 24, 2009
Like many of you I have often wondered how I would talk to with my daughter from China about her birth parents and the circumstances of her becoming part of our family. ( I will be honest and tell you that I can not say or type the word abandonment in reference to my daughter...can't do it) We talk now in ways a two year old can wrap her brain around about Sophie being "in China". She has the photo album we sent to her in the SWI. She points to the picture of herself as says "baby Sophie...China" then proceeds to name the rest of us in her photo album. She looks at family photos that she is not in with confusion, as if she is saying "hey , where was I???"
I guess in some ways I think/thought that because Sophie was born with a special need, explaining why her birth parents did not keep her would be slightly easier....as time passes I am not so sure. I encourage you to go here and read this post from a trans-racial adoptee. Her perspective will give you cause to think about what you are telling your daughter or what you may tell her in the future.
I thought I had a plan on how we would handle this as a family ( what terms we would use, like birth parents, that we would present the circumstances of how Sophie became our daughter in a loving and supportive way. ) We will tell Sophie that her birth parents loved because the chose life for her...they chose to leave her across the street from a hospital so she could be safe. I am not going to romanticize it, to me it seemed like a pratical choice given the circumstances of life in China. Truth be told, life is full of choices. There will be many questions that Sophie will ask me about her birth and journey to us, and unfortunately I will have very few answers for her....except that yes that I believe that she was loved then and is loved now.....
Posted by at 10:33 PM