She is taking questions

Here is your chance to ask an adult adoptee a question without being scared:) Yoon Seon is a Korean adoptee and has offered to answer questions....about her, her thoughts on adoption, her thoughts on being a transracial adoptee etc. I would hate for you to miss the opportunity. Now go. Shoooo. You know you have a question or two to ask.

A No Controversy Post

Yep that's right no controversy this week. Just a little update.

* I like to buy a book and provide a special snack for Sophie's class for Chinese holidays like the Moon Festival and Chinese New Year. Last year her class was small enough that I bought this for the class. This year the class was bigger so I went here and got this, this and this for her class. I got fortune cookies instead of almond cookies because I think there might be a kiddo with a nut allergy in her class ( I know they are not really Chinese...but kids LOVE them!) I also picked up a book for her class library. I hope her teacher and class enjoy the special book and treats!

* It snowed here yesterday to the tune of about 6-8 inches. Not a big deal in most parts of the country...but I will be lucky to get back to school by Wednesday. All three kids have had a blast playing in the snow. Personally I'm ready for spring!


* I went cotillion dress shopping with Hannah today. It is so hard to find any dresses for her that she likes and that fit her. She is so tall and skinny. The kids section is to "kiddish" for her and the juniors section dresses are too big.

* I need a girls weekend....baaaad! I need airline tickets to drop.

* Ben's X-b*x has died. Way too expensive to just replace. Way too much invested in games etc. not to find another one. His birthday is in February. Maybe his grandparents can kick in.

* Sophie is talking up a storm. Her vocabulary has exploded! She is using lots of "big" words and I'll be honest they sure sound funny coming out of her little mouth!

* There is nothing Sophie loves more than staying home with "my mom, my Hannah and my Ben" ( daddy always has to go to work)

Well thats it folks. Nothing exciting or controversial....this week.

Just Some Questions

Ok I am going to guess that this post will offend or be interpreted in the wrong way....and this is not my intention. I am Catholic. I was raised Catholic by parents who didn't bring us to church. My sister and I would go to Church on our own once we were in 3rd grade I guess. Our Church was around the corner from our house. Now I am not speaking for ALL Catholics, but as Catholics we tend not to be well versed in the Bible....and for many cradle Catholics not well versed in our own faith practices. So that is my disclaimer....if I offend you blame it on me being Catholic:)

If your motivation for adopting was was related to your faith....for example you were "called" to adopt.....or maybe attended a Stephen Chapman concert or your church called on its congregation to adopt....How are you going to explain that to your child?? "God chose us to be your forever Mommy and Daddy" may lead her to think that God "Took her away from birth mother" which can only lead to why would God do that? How are you going to avoid your child thinking that you rescued her?

We see this quote from the scriptures often on blog headers, usually just a small portion.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, "Give them up!" and to the south, "Do not hold them back." Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth" Isaiah 43:5-6

I found this link easily by g00gling scriptures for adoption.

I am not challenging you faith or your call to adopt. I read a comment a few weeks back and a parent had something to the effect that her daughter becoming part of her forever family was "preordained". That is was God's doing, and then there was a really great respectful response....but I can't remember where I read it!!

I suppose even if I did tell Sophie that it was God's will that she came to be part of our family, she might ask why does God not let Chinese children stay with their birth families, or why didn't God stop her birth parents from leaving her, or why did God make her with a special need???

I remember during one Mass awhile back during the homily the priest touched on "why God lets bad things happen" and oddly his response was simple but it truly resonated with me....the priest shared that "that sometimes when bad things happen it gives us the opportunity to be more Christ like"

Just thought I would ask.....

Adoptee's rights

There are many powerful lines in this song. The one that struck me the most was....."I'm starting my life in Chapter 2"



Our children from China will not likely ever know their "roots". Maybe someday there maybe some kind of DNA data base for children who have been adopted to maybe be able to find their birth families....maybe.

Having said that I can't imagine knowing the information is out there and being denied access by the government. I get that it's a triad and the birth parents rights also need to be considered....but that should be some way to communicate, maybe between a liaison of some sort. Not all births are a result of an unwanted teenage pregnancy, unfortunately some are a result of violence. I do believe that adoptee's should have the right to seek information,and to have question answered if possible. It is a balance, but having the government say that one persons rights are more important than another's is not right.

There is LOTs Going On In My Pretty Little Head:)

Here are just a few things bouncing around my head....

• It is Friday and I am excited to go learn how to use my CM software that I bought...umm like 2 years ago!
• Yoli has me rethinking sending Sophie to Chinese School to learn Mandarin. See her comment on my last post.

• I suck at teaching my children to sleep on their own. Ben and Hannah didn't torture me as badly as Sophie has....but they didn't stop waking me up in the middle of the night until they turned 4 years old.

• I am now sleeping on the trundle bed in Sophie's room. She cried for 30 minutes with me 6 inches away from her. I confess that I was exhausted and my reaction was not my proudest parenting moment.
  

• I really really need her to sleep all night in her own bed. She really really needs to sleep all night in her own bed.

• I ordered a weighted blanket. We are waiting for it to be delivered and are calling it "the magic mermaid sleeping blanket"

• Apparently the biggest thing going on in my life right now is Sophie not sleeping.

• Oh wait....I have a famous ex-boyfriend. No I will not kiss and tell....unless drinks are involved, a fire is burning in the firepit, and everyone listening is sworn to secrecy and laughter:) If you want to know what he looked like when I dated him you can LOOK here.
  

• I have started back to the gym. I waited for everyone who started on January 1st to give up.

• I bought a wii f1t....I was laughing so hard at sophie playing the soccer game I thought I was going to pee my pants. She is one funny kid!!

• I really want to go visit her but the flights are so dang expensive.

and last but not least....

• I miss my girls....big and little.
  

You Can't Buy Chinese Culture

You can't buy culture. Chinese culture is changing every day. You can't get it at Chinese school on Saturday's or Chinese dance classes on Thursday's after school. You can't get it by celebrating the Moon Festival, Chinese New Year or even by eating "authentic" Chinese food once a week with chopsticks. The fact of the matter is unless you are Chinese you can't teach your child Chinese culture. Freakin' Fantastic! Now what?!?!?!





This is what we do...... We have incorporated the Moon Festival, and Chinese New Year into the many different holidays and traditions that we celebrate since getting married. We attend our local Chinese association events which are usually part of Chinese holiday celebrations. I am hoping to enroll Sophie in Chinese dance classes next year. ( we have decided not to enroll her in Chinese language school. Read this account of an adoptee's experience with Chinese school when she was younger). I am trying to get some recipes that are from Datong to at least make those a part of our holiday dinners. But the bottom line is that when she is with other Chinese kids, who have Chinese parents, and have grown up in Chinese families.... she really won't be any better off if we didn't do much about Chinese culture to begin with. By making the effort we are giving her an opportunity to get to know some easily accessible parts of Chinese culture....and I suppose these are the ones I can write a checks for.

Wonder Girls

This is a video for a all girls group Wonder Girls from South Korea. They recently opened for the Jonas Brothers in the United States. They can be heard in every club in Shanghai and are trying to break into the US market. Granted this song has the potential to drive you insane. Can't wait to show it to Sophie and Hannah:)