Rewind

Since I have yet again become a lame blogger I need to post about LAST weekend before this weekend gets going!!

• My Secret pal from the Marching Panda's received a her referral!! I am so happy for Kristine and Shawn and their beautiful daughter!
  
• We had a very nice lunch with Hulu Mama on Sunday. We met at a Chinese restaurant and had yummy dim sum for lunch. The restaurant was full of Chinese families celebrating Chinese New Year.
• Hulu Mama needs to blog about her world travels. Lets just say if you need some tips on scuba diving in Bali or places to go in Beijing she's your girl!
• Sophie's class has celebrated Chinese New Year all week:) I heard a little girl leaving with her Dad and wishing him "Happy Chinese New Year Daddy..." Made me happy.
  
• I can't wait to get to Florida...nuff said.
• I admire special ed teachers who are called to teach children with behavior and emotional disorders.
  
• I lowered our cable bill by $35 bucks per month....by just asking for a lower rate:)
• My new fav radio station on my XM radio plays "the first wave" which is new wave music from the 80's, New Order, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Cure, Morrisey etc. LOVE IT!
  
• RQ has posted a ton of adult adoptee blogs for the masses to read. Lots of good insight to the individual experiences of trans-racial adoptee's. But could someone please leave me a link to a well adjusted transracial adoptee who has a good self image and happy with their family!

Well thats it for now folks:) Have a great weekend!

Answers

Like many of you I have often wondered how I would talk to with my daughter from China about her birth parents and the circumstances of her becoming part of our family. ( I will be honest and tell you that I can not say or type the word abandonment in reference to my daughter...can't do it) We talk now in ways a two year old can wrap her brain around about Sophie being "in China". She has the photo album we sent to her in the SWI. She points to the picture of herself as says "baby Sophie...China" then proceeds to name the rest of us in her photo album. She looks at family photos that she is not in with confusion, as if she is saying "hey , where was I???"

I guess in some ways I think/thought that because Sophie was born with a special need, explaining why her birth parents did not keep her would be slightly easier....as time passes I am not so sure. I encourage you to go here and read this post from a trans-racial adoptee. Her perspective will give you cause to think about what you are telling your daughter or what you may tell her in the future.

I thought I had a plan on how we would handle this as a family ( what terms we would use, like birth parents, that we would present the circumstances of how Sophie became our daughter in a loving and supportive way. ) We will tell Sophie that her birth parents loved because the chose life for her...they chose to leave her across the street from a hospital so she could be safe. I am not going to romanticize it, to me it seemed like a pratical choice given the circumstances of life in China. Truth be told, life is full of choices. There will be many questions that Sophie will ask me about her birth and journey to us, and unfortunately I will have very few answers for her....except that yes that I believe that she was loved then and is loved now.....

CNY Weekend

We were planning on going to a CNY festival similar to last year, but Ben has a late basketball game so that is out....then Hula Mama gave me a name of restaurant that has good food and a lion dance performance, but it is on Sunday and Chris has a business meeting/dinner Sunday night. *sigh* I guess we will have Chinese food and I am going to make these today.

Sophie will be sporting her cute CNY outfit to school on Monday. Her teachers are so excited to celebrate Chinese New Year with the class. I have put together some coloring sheets, a video for the kids to watch (Kai Lan CNY and sing and dance with Mei Mei), little goody bags, and a CNY book for the teachers to keep in the classroom. I hope to do this each year with Sophie for as long as she wants to share CNY with her classmates.

I really excited to finally be able to make a trip to hang out in paradise for a few days with this good friend and this one and this one! I will be flying to Tampa on my $68 round trip ticket and my Dad is going to drive down to meet the girls for the weekend. I can't wait to chat, eat, chat, drink and most of all laugh and share good times with some of the most amazing ( and a little crazy) women that I have met on this journey! Fun times ahead!!

I Am Sorry

• I am sorry that the latest rumor is for referral for only 2 days of LIDS.
• I am sorry that "super" rumors raise the hopes of waiting families, only to knock them down ( but not out!)
• I am sorry that this 8-9 month wait has stretched into years of waiting.
• I am sorry that people still ask waiting families if they are "still adopting"
• I am sorry that our government (and all of its paperwork) still manages to slow the process down!
• But most of all I am sorry that as I type this that there are children waiting for families.

I think we need to collectively pray that the children wait no longer for their families. That the CC@@ feels a sense of urgency to find all waiting children families to love and care for them.

** take a minute close your eyes and pray, send good thoughts whatever it is that you believe**

These Girls ROCK!

I like a four day work week!

Last week was the first week back after break. All in all a pretty good week. Sophie headed back to daycare without any problems, and was happy to see all of her little peeps. So whats with the four day work week??? I had forgotten that Sophie had a doctors appointment on Friday at Duke, so it was a four day week for me:)

• Sophie's had a follow up appointment with her urologist Dr.Weiner. Seriously that is his name. Said just like you think. LOL cracks me up every time!! He is an exceptional pediatric urologist. I wish I knew what bet he lost when he chose his speciality!! I wonder if he was out drinking with this doctor! Those guys at Duke have quite the sense of humor:)
• I might just end up with another four day work week if we get the snow that they are teasing me with on Thursday. It has been a really really mild winter here in NC.
  
• I had a nice chat with her the other day. We think that the rest of the Georgia Bloggy babes will be getting their referrals ,traveling this summer or just getting home with their little bundles of joy making a get together highly unlikely. We might need to come up with an alternative gathering plan. I think that one summer we should rent a huge house on a NC beach.
• I am having a really hard time getting motivated to study for my licensure test coming up in March.
• I think I might cook for CNY instead of going out for dinner. If you cook a special dinner can you leave me your recipes or links? Thanks.

Hope you all have a great week!

Update: Pug Mama says.... "NO WAY WOMAN!!!! We WILL have a GA bloggy bash this summer. better believe it....."

:) See ya in Georgia this summer.

The Evidence Speaks for Itself :)

Ok I admit that her husband and her husband are going to be smokin' hot wearing their traditional Chinese clothes while hanging out in the White Swan lobby..... but you have to agree that this photo is just ridiculous!

Pssssst......

Matilda Jane is having a sale!

Unsolicited Advice

That would be me providing those soon to get referrals some "been there done that" advice. I can do this just cuz I know so many of you soon to be moms!! Gaaaw I can not wait until March referrals start coming in! Our original LID was 3/29/06!

• This experience is your own. Although many have traveled this road before you, your child will have her own transitions it might be easy it might be the hardest thing you ever go through.
• Attachment is a Process. I can honestly say it has taken Sophie a year to fully trust and believe we are her family. Granted her first 3 months were filled with surgeries and recovery....but hind sight being 20/20 it took her a year.
• You will have to go back to China one day to "truly" visit your child's birth country.
• The jet lag going to China is not bad at all. Jet lag when you get home will kick your A$$.
• Make a list of things that you want to buy. Everything is really inexpensive, but you don't want to come home with a bunch of stuff that you can pick up at a flea market.
• Buy quality dresses in many different sizes if you think that you might take pics every year in traditional Chinese clothing.
• Don't make your husband where traditional Chinese clothing....unless he is Chinese. Thats just me. I crack up every time I see some poor white guy in a pic at the white swan wearing some mandarin collar jacket.
• If you can try to stay at the Victory. It will save you lots of $$$....if $$$ is not an issue stay at the White Swan it is part of the experience.....but don't expect much. (we stayed at the victory. We had 2 big rooms.)
• If you have a little one still taking a hot bottle you will need a thermos. Sophie was still taking a bottle but was happy to eat solid food most of the time.
• Carry or wear your baby as much as you can. GZ is hot, so wearing your baby there is sweaty.
  
• Buy a stroller. Waiting at immigration stinks if you have to hold a little munchkin who you have been holding for the last 17 hours. She wants some space and you are tired. Buy the stroller and give it to your mom.
• It is ok if you don't totally LOVE your child's province capital. This does not mean that you don't love her or that you are not grateful to China for this amazing child. Sophie is from the coal capital of China...nuff said.
• If your child seems attached to certain items that she is wearing like her shoes just let her wear them. Sophie would carry the shoes that she wore the day we met her to bed.
• Bring a scrapbook page to put your child "red" footprint, thumb print or hand print. Also bring a scrapbook page to have the director and/or nanny write something to your daughter.
• Good gifts to bring are yankee candle car air fresheners. They are flat and people in China will hang them in their apartments or with the 100 others in their car.
• Small sample/stocking stuffer perfumes are also a small and easy gift to transport.
• Eat at the Cow and Bridge early in the evening.
• McDonalds tastes the same as it does here and you will have at least one day when you think it is the best freakin meal you have ever had!
• If Ben can go to China and eat all different types of food......you can too!
  
• You can use your ATM cards to get money out in China. Just be sure to let your bank know:P
• If you are not traveling with a travel group, bring more than one bottle of the meds you are most likely use, just in case you spill!
• Try to buy gifts for special occasions like 16th birthday, graduation etc.
• Try to blog every day. Even if you don't post you can post everything when you have more time. I wished I had, I figured I would write about everything when I got home....wrong. To busy having jet lag kick my a$$
  
• Relax...yeah right:) But do your best to enjoy every moment that you can! This has been a long time coming for both of you!
  

It's Over

Yep it's done, finished....over! My winter break that it is! Back to school/work tomorrow. Every year I say the same thing......I need just one more day:)

We are finished with sleeping late every day ( well I never did get to sleep late since my morning buddy is two years old)



No more Mickey's Mouse in the morning.


No more eating, eating and then eating some more!

Time to find time to go to the gym with everyone else who made that a resolution this year...again!

Time to start studying. I am thinking of adding on a different area to my teaching license.

No more staying up late.....time to start getting back up at 5:30 a.m.

And last but certainly not least........

Time for March 2006 referrals to start rolling in!!!!

Chinese New Year Goodies

Moving right along to the next holiday:) I thought I would share some of the goodies that I have found for Chinese New Year. First every girl needs a fashionable outfit for the special celebration! I picked up this super cute outfit for Sophie here at the Fly Away Home Clothing Boutique.


****This is not sophie. This is the little girl of the mom who makes this super cute outfit*****

Next I picked up some goodies for Sophie to hand out to her class at daycare. I hope to do this every year just like this super mom. I am also going to send in a Chinese New Year book for the teacher to share with the class. I picked up this cute little Chinese New Year package at China Sprout. Each little munchkin in the class will get a lantern, a coloring page, and a red envelope with chocolate coins.



I know that integrating Chinese culture in to our family culture will not always be easy, but celebrating the Chinese holidays like CNY and the Moon Festival are fun and easy ways for our entire family to celebrate Sophie's birth culture.