Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sleep

For the record I am going to have to say that Sophie is our best sleeper. Granted her little toddler bed is right next to our bed. Ben and Hannah both wandered in and out of our bedroom until they were four or five (well, Hannah used to come in the morning to snuggle until she was in third grade). Anyway I have always kind of sucked at the bedtime thing. We have a night time routine that I stick to during the week (I am not great about it on the weekends), just the usual bath, books and bedtime. Except that I lay down in my bed until Sophie falls asleep in her own little bed. Now we all know that if a grown up lies down anytime after 8:00 they are going to fall asleep. I was asleep every night last week by 9:00. Yes, it does sound like I need my sleep, but I also need to do laundry and talk to my husband without a children interrupting. So I decided that I was going to get "tough" on Sophie's bedtime. Friday night I sat in our bedroom chair until she fell asleep....that took 45 minutes! Every time that she closed her eyes I would wait a few minutes and then walk out of our room as quietly as possible. No sooner did I get out of the room Sophie would wake up and start crying, seriously she is like Yoda and can sense my presence!! This didn't go on for to long because I had given Sophie some medicine since she has about 25 mosquito bites on her legs. Now Saturday night was an entirely different story. I did the same as I had the night before including medicine for the zillion mosquito bites, but her Yoda skills were on high alert. The girl can fight some sleep! I brought her back to her bed and would get her settled and I would sit in the chair. Every time she fell asleep and I would leave, Yoda, I mean Sophie would wake up screaming and crying. I finally just brought her out in to the family room and held her until she fell asleep and popped her in to her bed.

I can't let her cry it out. I can't close the door on her. I couldn't with Ben and Hannah either. I could try putting up a gate that would keep her in the room, but I suspect she will just stand by the gate and cry. I am open to suggestions.....

13 comments:

kris said...

I passed your site on to my good friend Hayley who happens to be a professional nanny-she always has such excellent advice about this kind of stuff- you may have seen her blog before too (Growing Snowflowers)... hope you find some good answers!

Yoli said...

I have no answers since I am one of the evil Moms who lets her children self soothe. However, Hayley is great and I am sure, like Kris said, she will have some answers.

~ Alison n' Mali~ said...

Mali was crafty like that!

After I placed her in her bed I'd sit in the room, but keep out of her field of vision (like on the other side of the bed - or in the doorway). I would normally read a book or compute so I didn't fall asleep myself. The first few times I did this, Mali would squawk & I'd stand up (showing my face) to reassure her that I was still right there . . . just out of her sight. Then I'd sit back down. It took her a few nights to get used to me being close but not visible. Once she got cozy with that notion - we were all good. I could often sneak out without her noticing.

Wishing u (& Yoda) the best of luck =)

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Ahhh, the yoda skills. Maddy has them too! Just last night we had the same issue at 2am though. Just when I thought for sure she was sleeping I would start to sneak out and low and behold, she would raise her head up and starting crying again. I too cannot just let her cry it out.
Sorry no good advice for you on this topic.

Catherine said...

Such a tough transition for both mommy and Yoda...I mean Sophie. Sounds like you're doing a great job! It's bit and eventually you'll work it out but until then, enjoy the extra sleepy snuggles and cuddles as she falls asleep.

Snowflowers Mum said...

feel free to email me...my info is on our blog. First thing...you have to get a white noise machine...it is a must have!...Is it a crutch? no...but it is a 'tool' to help your beautiful daughter learn the skills she needs for healthy sleep.

Sleep is a learned skill...what we do now will travel with our kids throughout their lives(have I scared you into late night Amazon buying of said sound machine?);-0!

just kidding..email me.

Hayley

Daniella said...

Wish I had some suggestions - I had/have a Yoda and I too couldn't do the crying thing - I'm hoping you get some good suggestions that I can keep for when our daughter comes finally gets home. Good luck.

Julia said...

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time with sleep issues, I can't suggest much, because I could never do the crying it out thing either. Just know that as they get older, this too shall pass, and they're only this little once.

Rebecca said...

Ugh. I have no suggestions for you, my dear!! I wish I could help. My kiddos have never had sleep issues. If Owen does... I will be coming and asking YOU for ideas!!!

xoxo
R

Shari U said...

Oh, my goodness, I could have written that post about my little girl from China. She was adopted at 10 months, is currently 5.5 and can finally go to sleep all by herself. (hip hip hooray). I have 3 bio kids who never needed me at night, but this one was different and I just couldn't and wouldn't let her cry all by herself, alone in her room. She had that "hyper-alert" thing going on, too, and could sense the second I walked out of the room or got out of the bed and I really don't think it was a manipulation, I think the poor child was just scared to death. I'm so glad I gave her the benefit of that doubt and just slept with her or with her on a mattress in our room because it gave us such a great opportunity for closeness, which I think is what she really needed. She's now in kindergarten and goes to sleep by herself every night and sleeps until I wake her up in the morning. I say just go with your gut. Good luck

Carol said...

Just Love her like you are already doing...follow your heart!
Carol

Susan said...

maryellen,

my kids were fine as babies.
victor still goes to bed fine.
it's when mine start talking that it goes down the drain...the going to bed well, in an orderly quick fashion.
i would say, just hold her and cuddle her.
when elena wakes up at night, we pop up, get her, and do whatever she wants! :)
if she wants to sleep with us, she does.
us with her, we do.
as a baby, she slept and slept, and she still does, just she needs cuddles. :)
now, sometimes it works if i say, "go ahead and go to sleep, if you need me, call me."--but she is three.

Colleen said...

I have a yoda too. Hannah was the same way - and our routine was the same (still is) every night. She wouldn't go to sleep without falling asleep in our arms. One night out of the blue she said "pillow".... when I was singing to her. So, I put her in her crib with her pillow....and now (with a few bad spurts here and there...) she does her stories - asks for pillow and goes to sleep. I have no idea what brought this on - but I am so thankful for it! I hope it continues. I am so sorry I sooo know how you feel, its tough. She's used to the way the routine has been for a while now, so it will be tough to break it. You will tho. Good luck.

And heck yea....lay down after 8? I'm goin nite nite.