Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Special Need

I posted this originally on our old blog "TBG Happenings".

Sophie's referral picture June '07

With the wait getting longer I wanted to talk to all you waiting families about special needs adoptions. First let me say that it is perfectly ok to consider adopting a special needs child because the wait has become insanely long. There I said it. Do I think that should be the only reason, certainly not, but if the wait has given you pause to consider a child with a special need …..Why not! In some ways I think that the wait has been the best thing for children in China who will NOT be adopted domestically because of a special need. More families around the world have opened their hearts to children with various special needs. Many of these children may not have found their family had the wait stayed at 8-9 months. We were added to our agency waiting family list one month after our LID backing ’06. The climbing wait definitely was a factor, but it was also something that we had talked about and gone back and forth discussing. I can’t imagine not having our Sophie. If the wait had been shorter this crazy, funny, smart and loving girl would not be sleeping next to me. Sophie was on another agency list back in December of last year. Her information was posted several times on the WC yahoo board. Unfortunately she had to wait longer for us to find her and bring her home, and I hate that. But I am grateful that we found each other. Her file was sent back to the CCAA in January ’07 and in June her file was sent to our agency.

Only you can decide what special needs you can handle. Only you know if you would be able to handle the costs of surgeries and therapy if that is needed. We carefully considered each special need on our agency list, and were honest about what we could handle as a family and as parents. We considered Sophie’s special need to be manageable for our family. It has not been easy, but it certainly has not been harder than we expected. Her prognosis for a long and healthy life is excellent.

Love without Boundaries has produced an informational CD about the various special needs most commonly found in China adoptions. The disc is $10 and once LWB gets their site up again you should be able to order the disc.

Adoption like birth provides no guarantees. If you feel the tug of your agency special needs program, take a chance….you may just find your daughter.

Sophie’s special need was us; our special need was Sophie


The Gang's Momma! said...

I loved this post the first time I read it. That last line has stuck with me, heart and soul ever since. I've quoted you often. Thanks for reposting. It's always GREAT to read others' thoughts and feelings about this topic!

Heather said...

So glad you re-posted this. You know how I feel about the subject, obviously!!

Sandra said...

I am so glad you posted this again. You know I feel the same way you do. I wish more people were open to SN adoption. As you know we didn't go into our adoption of Jazzie knowing she was deaf. Oh, how silly and narrow minded we were for not being open to a SN adoption at the time.
Jazzie was meant to be with us. End of story.

Wanda said...

Maryellen, your last sentence really touched my heart. Says it all.

Beautiful post!

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

tears ! I have tears in my eyes reading this again because it is so very true. We almost didn't have our Maddy and now I look back and think... what would we do without her?? Your last sentence speaks volumes!!

Kris said...

your last line SAYS IT ALL... :O)

simply t said...

I love your little Sophie and I LOVE your last heart just dropped when I read that.