Sunday, February 8, 2009

When a Kiss is More Than a Kiss

We are a smoochin' family. Even big bad Ben still gives me a kiss goodnight. Sophie will happily give you her cheek for you to kiss, but all in all she is pretty stingy when it comes to giving out kisses. Sure sometimes when I would ask for a kiss and she responded with a "no kisses mama" it made me a little sad, but I knew that was just Sophie doing things at her own pace. Sophie is a big hugger ( that was even included in her referral info). Her hugs can squeeze a bad day away in a NY minute! About a month ago Sophie started to give kisses more frequently. It started with her giving Chris and I a kiss in the morning when the 3 of us were snuggled in bed. Lately she has been giving me 3 kisses at a time. One on each cheek then a big smooch on the lips! I still can't ask for kiss and get one, but that is ok.....I'll take a unsolicited kiss any day of the week!

I know my favorite response to attachment is that it is a "process". Something as simple as a toddler giving her mama lots of kisses 17 months after coming home from China...well it just continues to prove that it is a process. My sweet little girl knows her family. We don't struggle with attachment issues. As family we give Soph the space and time that she needs to continue to grow her love for each of us......because she knows that each one of us loves her to the moon and back!

12 comments:

HuluMama said...

Unsolicited smooches are the best!

The Gang's Momma said...

Hey M! Great post.

We actually had the opposite problem for the first several months. Li'l Empress would indiscriminately handout affection to anyone. Literally would open her little mouth and lean in to anyone that caught eye contact with her. Now, she's stingy with everyone BUT us. And we're loving it. :)

kris said...

this is such a great post... and you are so right, it is a process- i know one day when you ask you'll get that kiss too :O) but the unsolicited kind are some of the best ones, aren't they?!

Sea Star said...

I loved this post.

Funny thing....the second I clicked on it, my big bad G came over to give me his goodnight kiss.

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Totally agree with this post! We have done the same with our Maddy girl. She is just now saying "I love you....TOO!" that is the best part. She is not just repeating us when she says it. When she says it now, she really means it. :0) Melts my heart I tell ya.

ps. my son is 23 and he still gives his momma kisses when he leaves to go home etc. I did not grow up in an affectionate family so I tried very hard to make sure my kids did. (hard as it was for me to give kisses and hugs.. I did it and my kids are all givers of both)

Special K said...

Awwww... sweet Sophie kisses. Those have to be the best.

Thanks for the reminder to be patient if it takes awhile.

PIPO said...

Good stuff, mama. Good stuff.

Joanne said...

I just found your blog ~ and it sounds so much like our Mia! She has also been home 17 mos and needs to do things in her time. Sometimes it is hard, but I know she will be handing out those kisses soon enough! I am also looking forward to my first "I love you", since she just started speech this week...I'm counting the days :)

Pug Mama said...

sweet.

Rebecca of "China, Baby!" said...

I remember you leaving a comment on my blog about attachment being a process... it's my favorite thing to tell other people now. :) SO TRUE. Hey, it is worth 17 months' wait!

Julia said...

Awww, this is such a sweet note about the X's and O's in your family. We're not huge on kisses (beyond goodnight kisses), but we're really big on hugs and snuggles. :-)

a Tonggu Momma said...

What a wonderful post. It took the Tongginator a long time to attach to us -- I think I received my first kiss at 10 months home. And it took even longer to receive requested kisses. You are so, so right about the process... these children need time.